17 weeks 1 day

So baby was super cooperative at today's 2nd ob appt. We saw Dr. Manning who is super nice. She found baby's hb right away with the doppler. Moving a bit and kicked the doppler once that I could feel. This is unlike big brother Landon who would squirm away from the doppler. Dr. Manning said according to the old wives tale and the hb of 140-155 this baby is a girl. ;-)

I asked about the pressure I've been feeling lately. Just this uncomfortable pressure and she explained this is normal for second time Momma's. Good to know but I thought all that uncomfortableness (is that a word?) would have been the first time around.

I also found out that I have an umbilical hernia which I discovered a few weeks ago when my belly button was beginning to pop out. Its ugly and I will probably have to have it repaired after this babe is born.

I've gained 3 lbs since last visit. :::wipes brow::: According to my calculations (meaning my scale, no heavy clothes, same time of day) I've gained 7 lbs. So I'm on track for 30 lbs. We'll see. I look like I've put on at least 10 lbs this time. I'm also carrying very differently. With Landon I had a basketball for a belly and this time I feel wider, thicker.

Food is still rather disgusting at times. By evening my m/s is in full force if I don't eat like I should and sometimes I have no appetite for dinner. UGH! So with Landon I had a chicken aversion which really didn't exist this time. I've been craving wings, carbs, sweets, chips and some sour things. With Landon the first 12 weeks all I wanted was Chinese; I think I've had it twice this entire pg. I'm not going through 3 gallons of milk quite yet either but I don't think that happened until my last trimester.

I've been feeling movement for a good 2-3 weeks now. Babe definitely has a different personality from big brother Landon and does not kick back when I push and prod at my belly.

I'm still fairly tired but not nearly as much as I was. I began nesting this past weekend and found a $50 gift card to a local spa. Guess who will be spoiling herself soon? Yes, that would be me and I cannot wait. As much as I want a massage...I can't shell out $80 on top of my gift card. So a chocolate sugar scrub it will be.

And last but not least we will be finding out what we are having in 4 weeks. April 3rd. We chose to wait until my new insurance kicks in. I can't believe I said ok to waiting a week longer. ;-)

Boy vs Girl

I'm so torn about posting this, its a confession that is worthy of flames!

As sad as it is I not only want a healthy baby; I want a healthy baby girl. :::flame away::::

I have no business asking God for more then a healthy baby. I have no business wanting anything but a healthy baby after all the losses I have suffered.

I remember going through my losses hearing women say, "I want a boy," or others who wanted a girl. I couldn't help but scream in my head, "ALL I WANT IS A HEALTHY BABY!!!!"

I worry that I'll be disappointed at our big ultrasound and I don't want to be. I'm trying to convince myself I will be happy with a healthy baby and no matter what I will be. I can see us having another boy and its exciting in ways because Landon brought me so much joy that I would love to give him a baby brother to play with. However, I don't want to miss out on having a little girl. I miss not having barbies and baby dolls in the house. ;-) And of course I would love to have a little dancer on my hands.

However, I need to be grateful for whatever God has decided for us.

As of now we are not discussing names. Last time we only had boy names that we agreed on and for the life of us we could not agree on a girls name. I'm ok with waiting. In fact, I'm hoping it will be less stress.

Babe is definitely moving a little more each day which is really assuring. I cannot wait for the constant kicks and punches. Landon was a super active baby in the womb. We'll see if he or she takes after his or her big brother.